hmmmnnnn...!!!

love cum arranged!!! kaisa hai bhai! sahi rahega!!!

I Don't seem to understand the arrange marriage..you don't know the person that well...you just ...i don't know..Arrange marriage is not my kinda thing ..Love All da way

Keep da _Faith ^Fate KP Was here

actually this is very very very confusing and very serious question to think about

• Love Marriage : Love Marriage is very sweet experience. Marriage is a reward for your successful love. You know that person very well before you marry that person. You know your spouses likes and dislikes. So u can handle the situation easily. But is the love marriage, some time you take your spouse to be granted and visa versa; which lead to quarrels. You love to the person, who is of your age group. It lead to ego problem(Sometime).
  
  
• Arrange Marriage : Arrange Marriage is a traditional way to get married. Generally in Arrange Marriage you see all stars and all, where u feel that your marriage will be successful... You don't know that person so u don't take your spouse to be granted. You give yourself time to understand your spouse; in that your marriage get approximately 5 years old.. and as u give so much time to understand your spouse you start adjusting and finally u start feeling for your spouse.

i might have missed few points... but due to these points... its very confusing.

So i dont have firm answer for such question... sorry Kussy

This post has been edited by Solution President: Mar 11 2007, 08:46 PM

Definitions acha hai ..but i guess we all know what they mean...anyways...y dont have a clear picture in front of ya...Love marriage is the one

i'm prone to writing long replies, as every1 knows
which nobody else reads beside me
this is a topic i cld write a treatise on, however i'll resist the temptation

so i'll just give u my choice
very strongly in favour of Love Marriage

No way King u have to write a long reply i read ur replys ....


Write ur reply thn i will write my Views

m not giving definition its what i know about it..

due to assets and drawbacks of both.... m confused.. which ever u choose.. best for u.. that what i can say

very interesting discussion and thanks to king for inviting me here


Now coming to the topic,

My views are mixed and still believes in our traditional ways, I dont mind having a arrange marriage and if love happens in my life i would take it and try to make a sensible decision. Cannot ignore the responsibilities towards them, my life is easier my parents are open for me even if i marry a white gal.
Since people put explanations in favor of love marriase(a very fascinating word, gives you fun before marriage and may be after marriage ), i prefer to put here argument suppoorting arrange marriage, because i dont see any valid points for love marriage that you have to know a person to get married(its always better and i am not against it )
Now to validate some of my points:
Time for some experimental evidence, eastern culture believed in arrange marriage and compared to western countries where people do love marriages the traditional and arrange marriage has far lesser number of divorce cases. Worked well ..right ?? In my family all the arrange marriage had been successful the kind of family i saw in my life i saw they really cared for each and so the children developed a sense of responsibility which comes with great care so i saw far far more arrange marriages succuessfule.
Now the argument would be in our theth bhasha "jamana badal gaya hai ", really! in which way ? more number of divorce cases ? alas! being in western culture i have been trying to understand if people really know each other then why so many divorce cases??? some reasons i explored and would like to quote, first there is no parents involvement, whole decision is on the couple if it does not work it does not work ....parents never arranged it they dont feel obligated anyways. One of my own frnd he arranged married a gal from india, gals both parents are doctors! rich family ...huh? gal is still traditional...good upbringing by both parents ...now the gal could not adjust here in america and they had arguments and some hot moments, gal, i call her bhaujai she went back to india, my frnd said she is not coming back to my life, the people who arranged that marriage their involvement and parents (the arrange marriage brings two family closer so the arrange marriage is where two family comes together too so they come together) finally everything worked, the gal is here and both are happy and adjusting with each other. they live in my neighbourhood and since she came back i did not hear a singl hue and cry for anything. You will say how would i know if they are hapy or not? I would say do you know ? and if you dont then lets state what we see by putting some benefit of doubts that there could be possibility that there somethng else cookng. If it happens it will surely come out, cooked food smells much and sooner of later it comes out and makesy you nosy lol

Now, I want to ask a question how many of yours parents did love marriage ? How many thinks the kind of upbringing they got was good and one of the main reason was arrange marriage and the kind of atmosphere it builts.

Ok one more point when you do love marriage and your parents involvement is not there, it takes you toward single family or say taking you away from your family. I wish i could quote this stats with some valid example but i read in this a magazine called advocate where a beautiful article is writting about the marriage process in around the world. Ego is another major problem for clashes in love marriage whereas, arrange marriage is a slow process but a very fine process to adjust and understand each other. Ego seldom develops here as mostly arrange marriage forms the basis of equality in terms of equilibrium hence symbolises co-operation at the same place love marriage forms a kind of equality which turns out into competition. I belive boys and gals are not same and so not equal but very much complementary and this brings the equilibrium means co-operation.

You can criticise love marriage by saying that its necessary to know a person, ok ....Yes its necessary to know a person, but again how about the quote below

it says
"LOVE, is NOT about finding the right person,
but CREATING a right relationship.
Its NOT about how much love u have in the begining,
but how much LOVE u build till the end."


very idealistic ....eh? but we all are humans and we can build a right relationship with each other, why its so hard ? are we lazy ? or we are not just open to appreciate it ?

it reminds me another one
"love is blind"
oops another one
"blinds cannot see colours it needs extra senses if you can develope " --understand it symbolically

"Peace is my destiny and i travelled this far in search of peach had the hard way and when i look back and see i could make things better"

Now lets put some light on the process in which arrange marriage happens, your parents search a gal to give a kind of security in your life(another argument may arise that how much do they understand you ...well if you really have understanding problem with your parents then no body will help you ), they see the kind of family she is coming from, kind of education she had ... do some background check on gals family...(i am sorry guys i used too many guys but gals family do more hue and cry and why not their daughter is leaving and going to another family and that would be her family and there in that family she will get a mother a father brothers and sisters). So they see all kinds of compatibility even the kind of income the guy has.

I favor love marriage too but for this i have to open my eyes because it will be solely my decision, its a risk too so if you can make it wisely you make it good.

In the end i would say its all boils down to the person but remember your decision would be your decision if you involve your elders if your partner is wrong you can think that your and her parents would see and criticise her for her actions. That pressure is needed for discipling and current trend of love marriage is not able to fulfill this. So, if love happens and if you can handle it, make it wise and everything would be good
but anyways guys the sucssefule love life depends on the person and little discipline from parents side would make it easier. Its upto people what they prefer and how they carryout the responsibility life long.

Wisdom is the key word, for me if i wont be loving anyone and i feel like its right time to get married i will do arrange marriage if somebody comes who are more interested in me instead of interested in my dick or physique colour then thats a problem.

aur bhaiya humra jo tabla hai oo maa bahut bhaiya jee log aata to oo logwa ka ek kahawat hai tum bhi suno

babua jaisan karwa waisan bharwa
ee se kara aisan kaam
je maa ho tohka araam
naa to pahuch jaiwa samsan
naa sita bacha paai naa raam

Thanks for the topic Kus

sasoor bahut likha diya hum to ...abhi humriya bhaisiya rani jaag gai hai so sasoor ooka nahlane dhulane ka time ho gaya hai so hum to chala .......aur abh ke liye etna kaafi hai hajam karo hum to sasoor ata hi rahoonga idhar

This post has been edited by me_coolestguyin: Mar 15 2007, 11:49 PM

arre sasoor ka saare mantar yahin pad diye ka saadi k...

Sasur r we supposed to Read wht u wrote .....

Well since u have written so much give me some time to read it

Reading wht sasur wrote

naahi do char bacha ke rakha hoon hoon oo tumri shadi mein padhoonga